The struggle against survival instincts.
We have such strong survival mechanisms in place to protect us, don’t we?
But aside from the physical impulses like dodging a ball or ducking for a door, we have emotional survival impulses too.
We have developed survival skills from childhood to scout for, smell and block hatred before it hits us. We have a strong aversion to unpleasant feelings that arise from altercations, arguments and disagreements. So we naturally fight back as if they were real attacks in the wild. (They are not!)
Often, these disagreements arise because of a mere clash of beliefs or habits. Yet our mind could be triggered if we had been sensitive towards a few of these beliefs. So it wants us to fight back and hard.
The problem is — you have to genuinely stop yourself and ask whether the fight is worth it. Not only that, whether the way you are fighting is worth it. Whether a minor dis-agreement is becoming a hatred spiral.
If you do feel like someone is targeting you and hating you (which is an exaggerated view that your anger wants you to believe), try repeating this simple mantra to yourself to cool your nerves:
”I would rather be hated than be the one to hate others. “
It might be helpful to lower your reflexes and soften your heart.