Fear, Sadness and Anger.
Fear, sadness and anger are what I call “THE TERRIBLE TRIO” of human emotions.
Unlike their healthy counter-parts, these tend to play a destructive role in our psychological well-being and can lead to dramatic decisions.
If you are reading this and are above the age of 2, you have already been conditioned to use the terrible trio as a means to cope with short-term struggles.
These are ingrained habits and nothing else. No one is born afraid of most things or sad incessantly or raging with anger.
We learn these as infants mostly by watching others around us and practice using them as methods to get out of unpleasant feelings.
But this very practice can be a double-edged sword. These emotions can be triggered by several cues and if you are not being mindful of limiting their power over your life, the effects can be debilitating. Your mind continues to play these emotions in your mind (by fooling you as if these are justified) and spiral down into depression. The challenge with these sub-conscious habits is that we swear by them as if they are 100% part of our identity and hence cannot be altered.
If you forget that these are choices (although they might feel automatic responses) that your mind is making, you will suffer by destroying your own inner peace.
You can’t be upset with everything, sad with everyone and afraid of each situation in your life.
Fear, sadness and anger make the world appear as if it’s broken.
The truth is that your world view manifests as your reality so if you focus on the brokenness of the world, you will find it at every corner. FSA blinds you to everything else via confirmation bias.
The antidote is hope, love and gratitude. But it takes enormous amount of effort to break the old bad habits since they will feel so automatic. The good news is that your world again adapts to your positive world view gradually if you chose to stick with it.
The world is not out there to get you. The world is neutral, impartial and agenda-less. It’s an uncertain, fickle and messy place. It’s just that you have been told sweet white lies all your life starting as kids about how CERTAIN it is and how if you stack all your blocks in a row, it will abide by your wishes. It doesn’t at times and it does at other times. You can’t change the hand you are given in any given round, you just have to play and look for what’s good in this episode.
Be free from specific expectations and clinging to certainty. This might be hard to hear but slowly you will realize the truth in it. Wisdom starts the moment you stop thinking about your own selfish good and try to expand your perspective into others. The world works as an organism and you are just a (perhaps self-aware?) cell. If you are having a bad day, somebody else might be having an even worse day. Reach out and help someone who could use your support and words of wisdom.
Don’t give in to the bad habit of drifting towards the terrible trio. Stand your ground!