Why “letting go” sounds remarkably simple but ends up being so hard?
Sharing an insight today that could be useful to handle the tricky mental concept of letting go.
I wanted to write about a very familiar condition that I battle on a daily basis which you might relate to as well. It has caused me a lot of suffering, anxiety and kept my mind in a constant loop of worry. As I looked around and spoke with friends, I noticed most of us go through something of the sort so I thought it was normal and went on with it. Until last few weeks where I have been living with so much heavy weight in my heart that I was struggling to enjoy simple joys of life that I eventually learned to manage better.
So, what’s that condition?
The inability to let go.
It spans everything. Letting go of things, letting go of people, letting go of habits.. every aspect of my life.
I've been learning Buddhist teachings and recently attended a Kadampa meditation session where our teacher (totally unexpectedly!) brought up the same topic and helped me get a better grasp at this concept.
He pointed that most of us associate a blend of feelings towards objects, things, people and habits. “I’d love to have the new iPhone. I’d love to have the new BMW. I’d love to be able to go to Cancun, Mexico. I’d love to be with this person over the holiday. I’d love to have a 2x paying job.”
It starts simple and masked as innocuous harmless love but we slowly get drawn deeper until the equation suddenly has a new component. He calls the invisible ingredient: DESIROUS ATTACHMENT.
THE BLEND = TRUE LOVE + DESIROUS ATTACHMENT.
In Buddhism, there is a huge focus on “observing” and “reflecting” on your actions. They say if you are only excited and in true love with something, you are likely to be happy and content no matter what the outcome is. But if you try to grasp for more, if you create a web of sticky attachment around your desire, now you are setting yourself up for disappointment and discontent. Observe your association with what you love. Look for signs of desirous attachment, if you find any.. just let go and focus only on true love. It will feel refreshing and is sustainable in the long term.
It was a powerful profound lesson. Hope it helps in auditing your desires too.